At my gym there are a lot of mirrors. I mean a lot. Every which way you turn, there you are. This can be a good thing of course, like when I’m trying to correct my form while doing a bicep curl, but it does feel a bit odd staring myself down as my face turns bright red during my second set of sumo lifts.
I’ve been lifting weights for the past two months—something I thought I’d never get into, but I love pushing myself to be stronger, even if it means grunting like a sick hyena in front of lots of bulky men. Strength training gives me a sense of control, a sense of power, and it lets me know that I can have command over my own body.
But today as I was looking in the mirror, I glanced behind me at a blond woman, tall and sleek and muscular, with killer big boobs. The guys were very attentive to her, of course and I couldn’t help but feel a tinge of envy.
I brought my eyes back to myself in the mirror, all five foot three inches of me. My boobs aren’t so big, my hips not so curvy, my mama belly a little round. The thought occurred to me that no matter how many pounds I lifted…or how many pounds I lost, I won’t be any taller and my boobs won’t be any bigger and I’d still have that short girl, Becky physique.
BUT…and here is the big but (no pun intended) I still look good. I’m mean right, I’m no a Victoria Secret model, but I am me…and I’m kind of cute, and charming in my smallness and my thick-waistedness. I’m a package of Becky loveliness, like no other! AND wow, my biceps are getting nice and strong, and my my butt is firmer than it has been in ten years. I’m proud of who I am.
Similarly as a writer I know I will never be Stephen King. I will never be JK Rowling. But you know what? I don’t want to be (except for maybe the money part). My writing is my own. It comes from the depths of who I am. When I start trying to write like other people I stop being me, my writing suffers for it and I’m no longer happy.
Beauty and talent come from the confidence of knowing who we are and being proud of it. I am beautiful, not because I look like someone else, I am beautiful because I look like me. Similarly I am a good writer because I’ve found my own style and I’m not afraid to look myself in the proverbial mirror and be who I really am.