Of God and Unicorns…

unicorn be yourselfSometimes I journal as if I’m talking to God. I don’t even believe in God, at least not in the traditional sense, but as I was writing this came out.

God, I am burnt out on this writing thing, this author thing, trying to sell my books. It’s too much. It doesn’t make me happy.

Okay tell me specifically, what, in all of this doesn’t make you happy.

The trying. I mean I love the doing, but the trying to be perfect…

What do you want to be?

I want to be a woman who writes really good books, who tells exciting stories aloud to an audience and makes people feel good inside when they hear them. I want to write great articles, short stories…keep a decent blog…and keep creating That’s SO Bizarre..and love the people I interview for all their quirkiness.

God, I want to send light into the world. I want to send my heart and humanity to people…I want to remind them who they are!!

Don’t you see it Becky!!? You already are all those things. That is you! My God, Becky, you are living and breathing your dream.

The key is to stop comparing yourself to everyone… you are not them. You are on your own path. The minute you try taking their roads you fail….that’s when you crumble. Only you can be you, to be anyone else would be a lie. You hurt, suffer when you try to be someone else. You can only be you. Beautiful, sunny, heartfelt you.

Becky, my sweet love, you are fine. This is not depression, this is longing…and this is all good. Finally there’s room to look at this part of yourself deeply. There’s a lot going on in your life. Take a deep breath and know you are okay. Let go of the paths you cling to and float atop the one you are on.

Smile. You are here. Right now. In beauty and light.

Forgive, my dear, for you already are perfect.

Advertisements

3 comments

  1. Absolutely love this Becky. When I read this quote “I want to be a woman who writes really good books, who tells exciting stories aloud to an audience and makes people feel good inside when they hear them.” I thought to myself, well hell, girl! You are already so there. I read you when I feel down and I want a smile, or, sometimes all it takes is looking at a picture of your smiling face. YOU have saved me from the dark Place a couple of times. Did you know that? Don’t ever doubt your worth to people who love you, for it is more boundless than you can know.

  2. Ha – you said so eloquently what frustrates me on a daily basis. The writing part is most assuredly the fun part, because it is just me and my thoughts and the words and the characters. But then when I try to share these words with others it becomes such a hassle and all those beautiful words start sounding kind of silly. And then I read all the writing tips, about hooks and what it is in vogue and what the reader wants and then it seems to minimize the joy of writing. I am thinking I might just write my stories, just for me (oh, and maybe my parents) and that is it. I will store my stories away and someday when I no longer inhabit this world, maybe someone will come along and read them (not because I asked them to do so) and they will say, what a great story, what vivid descriptions, what an amazing message.
    I love your post! I almost think that is what I am going to do – just write my stories for me and no one else, I already feel a huge sense of freedom just thinking about it. Thanks!!!!!!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s