Serenity Now!!


I never quite got the mantra thing. Don’t get me wrong, I was right there with all the suburban housewives in my yoga pants doing the downward dog, all of us trying to squeeze the dissatisfaction from our lives with a pretzel pose. It may have worked for some of them, but after class I’d always get that taste of dissatisfaction lingering in my mouth.

In some classes we’d chant. This was the worst for me. It was like going back to my Jewish synagogue when I was a kid, trying desperately to divine something out of words someone handed me on a sheet of paper. In fact as a kid this sort of thing just made me feel more detached.

I often think of the episode in Seinfeld where George’s Dad went on a kick, trying to reduce his anger. He was told if he just said ‘serenity now’ his problems would go away. So, in true Seinfeldian fashion, George’s dad, misinterpreting the purpose of his assignment exploded in anger passionately shouting “Serenity Now!!!”

That was me in yoga class some days.

Yoga was nice.  It made me limber, I learned how to breathe, but I often found myself like George’s dad, arms to the air, on the verge of a heart attack, frustrated that I still wasn’t fixed.

So, as of late I’ve tried something new. I’ve been doing hypnosis, and oddly enough—it works. Hypnosis works under the principle that all those conversations we have with our thinking mind—the busy, crazy, fretful entity that it is—are unproductive. We tell ourselves “Stop eating all that crap” and we do it anyway because our subconscious desires are out of whack with the great, steadfast logic our conscious mind.

The head knows that eating a whole box of Little Debbie snack cakes is not a good idea, however if the subconscious mind, let’s say, is heart broken over a recent break up, it may think that eating all those oatmeal pies is a good idea.

sue hypnotism

My teacher Sue David

In the case of the Little Debbies our subconscious and conscious minds are in disagreement and according to Sue, the subconscious wins.

In hypnosis, you talk to your subconscious mind and you go straight to the source of your problem. The theory is that because you’re communicating with the highly suggestible subconscious, in a state of peace, you embody the solution deep within you, and bypasses the noisy, neurotic  conscious mind.

I know it sounds like a gimmick to some of you (Tim Baker!), but I tell you it has affected me profoundly.

For me, hypnosis is powerful because it bypasses my anxiety ridden head games (for which I am a gold medalist!) and instead goes straight to my heart. It in essence shuts me up and says “cut the crap and just be.”

Several months ago Sue David my hypnotherapist (who does Skype calls if you’re interested!) told me that while I was under I would hear a message. She said to listen for key words that I could use to bring me to that mellow state.  Essentially she was telling me to find my mantra. This made me nervous. What if I chose the wrong one? Would it be good enough? How am I to know? (THAT’S the conscious mind talking!)

One day while I was relaxed and under self-hypnosis, I heard this: “I am Beauty, Love and Light”

Of course this wasn’t magic. It was just me—but a very relaxed, chilled me, that didn’t have the regular BS running through her head.

Here’s the cool part, with these words I felt an emanating force of love surrounding me, streaming from my pores. It was divinity, but not scary divinity like I was taught as a kid.

This was just the sheer understanding that it all makes sense. All of it.

All the stuff I worried about,  all my maddening seeking for perfection–it was all quiet. It was just me, these three words, and this beautiful, calm place I had created for myself.

And so, apparently I now have a mantra. When I go into my state of relaxation, ride the river of my subconscious mind I say those words to myself. It is in these moments that I am reminded of who I truly am…and the coolest part–when I come out of hypnosis and my kids are whining or I didn’t get enough sleep I still feel the power of the mantra.  There’s no magic, just quiet time with my heart and an understanding from my depths that I have the power to make change. I no longer need to be afraid.

I am beauty, love and light…. and so are you.





  1. Becky,

    We believe that the Divine rests inside of every living being. It’s awesome that you are opening yourself up to feel that Divine within yourself.

    Love to you,

    1. I feel the same way. We all have the divine in us, just sometimes we forget it is there. It’s such an adventure to be devoting my life to know it. I’ve been reading a lot of Rama Dass lately…learning a lot. Thanks for reading. See you in a month!!

  2. I was like you. I took yoga many years ago. I would leave there frustrated, wanting to kick the shit out of someone. I think each of us finally finds a path that keeps us sane. My father was my only source of unconditional love. I felt a huge void in my soul when he died in 2001. He loved to cook and bake and he loved to entertain. Whenever I would go to his home for dinner, he would bake my favorite cherry pie. I would walk into his cute little cottage with the aroma of warm cherry pie wafting through the house to greet me. On the afternoon of his funeral, I was riding home with my husband with Dad’s military flag wrapped in my arms. Of course, I was grieving. We opened our kitchen door and an amazing fragrance greeted us. It wasn’t just a whiff. It was a heavy fragrance that wrapped itself around me and made me happy and warm. It engulfed our entire house. My husband looked around in amazement and asked, “What is that smell?” I walked around the house and basked in the beauty of that moment. I knew exactly what it was, and I understood the message. I said, “That’s a cherry pie baking in the oven. Dad’s welcoming me home and he’s telling me that he is alright.”

    Ever since that day, I have lived in peace. I know that I will always be alright, I know I will see Dad again, and I learned that there are things far greater than ourselves that we will never understand, but that is okay. It’s not for us to know all things. We will learn all things in time. It’s taught me that we must continue in this life with love and enthusiasm, and that there is another adventure waiting for us when we step through that door.

    Throughout the years since my dad’s death, my house has been blessed with phantom cooking and baking smells that my husband and I both experience. We have both been awakened many times at 4:00 a.m. to the overwhelming aroma of fudgy chocolate. My dad always baked a big fluffy two-layer chocolate fudge cake for me on my birthday. He died at exactly 4:00 a.m. We have enjoyed the smells of bacon frying, coffee brewing, vegetable soup simmering (Dad made the best!), bean soup, pot roast, applesauce cake (There was nothing like it!), and sugar cookies rich with vanilla and sugar and butter. This happens frequently, and occurs when any type of holiday or birthday rolls around. The aromas are rich and overpowering and totally real. And they were all delicious things that Dad enjoyed preparing especially for me.

    Dad was an electrician, and he took care of my house. I had two electricians in the house to fix a dangerous electrical problem. While they were working, they told me that they smelled cookies or cake baking. I didn’t say anything. I didn’t want to tell them that it was an old electrician on the other side telling them that they were doing an excellent job. I just smiled to myself and nodded.

    I don’t care if people believe you. I am totally accepting of it. My husband experiences all this phenomena right along with me, but he won’t mention it to anyone for fear of being seen as unbalanced or delusional. He can’t come to terms with it. But, I see it as a great gift from someone on the other side who truly loves me. It has taught me that life is full of wonder and magic. I have learned to savor it. It opened my mind to endless possibilities and it has strengthened my psychic ability. There is magic all around us. We must only keep our minds open to it without question or skepticism.

    This is a beautiful post.

      1. Of course. Share away. I enjoy sharing this. I want people to open their eyes to things like this.

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