Sitting with Nothing


sometimes when i want quiet,

i tuck myself away from people in need

and allow myself to

become deeply aware

of a warmth within my chest.

if i breathe and hold the stillness,

the warmth grows

filling the space below my skin.

my meditation sparks,

an ever growing flame

that speaks

not of words,

but power and movement.

it has presence,

yet it is Nothing at all.

“please show me the truth,” i ask of its greatness

but Nothing just chuckles

and shows me a tree.

“which is the way?” i probe

but it just grins

and gestures

to a thin drift of cloud.

in my unfettered state

my thoughts are

drugged and doped,

my worries

whispers hidden in the

call of silence.

in smooth amusement,

i hear myself laugh…


by my ambitions,

my wild desires

and the play of Nothing

upon my heart.

Love Has Come for You


As a child I was taught that love was something earned, specifically by keeping the people around me happy. This wasn’t about entertaining them so much as it was about emotionally feeding people’s needs. It was a pretty big job as a little kid and to this day it still takes on too much weight.

Now I’m understanding something, though. Love is not the emotional unit of two people grasping at each other because the world is too big and scary for them. Nor is it holding on so tight that the other person can’t move. Love is freedom, love is awareness, and ultimately love is connection.

Love is huge. It is the biggest thing in the universe. It is what makes everything tick.

It is diving into the world without fear. It is connecting from the heart, not from the socially constructed brain that says “love right or die”. It is living free, liberated from the fear that you might be abandoned and left hopeless on the side of the road.

Healthy relationships are about two beings who stand alone, yet perfectly together. As we tap into that cosmic love we acknowledge it within ourselves and each other.

Being human it’s easy to slip into a place of fear and wanting. We’re so attached to what we call reality that the threat of loss feels too much to bear. We don’t want to be alone, but what I understand now is we’re not. Not ever. Love is a force that pervades everything. It is more than our wants, then our fears.

Although I will always carry with me the loaded scripts I’ve been given as a child, I hope as I move forward I can pause to acknowledge the magnificent love within myself and everyone else and no longer feel the need to feed people to feel safe.

Love is alive around us reverberating in the trees, in the water, in our hearts. It is who we are. Our job is not to be security blanket for the people around us, it’s to lift the heavy bindings and let people fly free.