Sometimes I journal as if I’m talking to God. I don’t even believe in God, at least not in the traditional sense, but as I was writing this came out.
God, I am burnt out on this writing thing, this author thing, trying to sell my books. It’s too much. It doesn’t make me happy.
Okay tell me specifically, what, in all of this doesn’t make you happy.
The trying. I mean I love the doing, but the trying to be perfect…
What do you want to be?
I want to be a woman who writes really good books, who tells exciting stories aloud to an audience and makes people feel good inside when they hear them. I want to write great articles, short stories…keep a decent blog…and keep creating That’s SO Bizarre..and love the people I interview for all their quirkiness.
God, I want to send light into the world. I want to send my heart and humanity to people…I want to remind them who they are!!
Don’t you see it Becky!!? You already are all those things. That is you! My God, Becky, you are living and breathing your dream.
The key is to stop comparing yourself to everyone… you are not them. You are on your own path. The minute you try taking their roads you fail….that’s when you crumble. Only you can be you, to be anyone else would be a lie. You hurt, suffer when you try to be someone else. You can only be you. Beautiful, sunny, heartfelt you.
Becky, my sweet love, you are fine. This is not depression, this is longing…and this is all good. Finally there’s room to look at this part of yourself deeply. There’s a lot going on in your life. Take a deep breath and know you are okay. Let go of the paths you cling to and float atop the one you are on.
Smile. You are here. Right now. In beauty and light.
Forgive, my dear, for you already are perfect.
The Transparent Author 